10 Ways to Drive Your Pharmacist Out of His Ever-Lovin' Mind

Let me preface this post with this: I love serving the public. I truly do. It's my passion, my calling, my ministry. However, there are moments when I fight very hard to remember Whom I serve and why. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but it includes several of these "moments." Enjoy!

1. Call your phamacist and ask for a refill. Give him your first name only and hang up. Pharmacist's like a challenge. How many Michelles or Johns could there be, right?
2. After planning your vacation for months, call your pharmacist (the more panicked the better) a mere hour or two before you need to catch your plane for a refill on your medicine. Throw a big fit when your pharmacist informs you your prescription is out of refills and the doctor will have to be called (by the way, this scenario usually occurs after the doctor's office is closed for the day). Your pharmacist is obviously slacking on their ESP capabilities and deserves a good verbal lashing.
3. Call your pharmacist and tell them you need a refill on your "subscription" and would like to have it in a "genetic" if at all possible.
4. By all means hand your pharmacist your empty tube of prescription hemorrhoid cream, rectal tip still attached, and ask them to throw it away for you. Pharmacists' hands are impervious to germs - especially the fecal kind.
5. Write a hot $150 check for your prescriptions. Then pay for it (and the added bank fee) with dollar coins. Pharmacists are good at counting and look for any and every chance to showcase their skills.
6. While picking up your flu prescriptions, cough and sneeze all over your hands, then hand the pharmacist your money. Feel free to use the bills like a Kleenex first. See #4.
7. When you get new insurance cards in the mail, or if you switch to another insurance company, keep it a secret from your pharmacist. They love taking 45 minutes to talk to an insurance representative from a call-center in India - who just learned English the week before - only to learn you have new insurance. It's especially fun when you stand in the lobby waiting and glaring at us and tapping your foot while we are talking to said insurance representative. It's even more fun when you laugh as you realize you forgot and hand us your brand new card. We think you're a real card.
8. The pharmacy is your children's playground. Let them roam, run, climb, touch, scream and drain the water cooler dry all over the ground. We pharmacists think your kids are "precious."
9. Call your refill into your pharmacy and beg them to have it ready in 15 minutes, but don't pick it up for three days.
10. Come into the pharmacy and walk up to the counter all the while talking on your cell phone. When the pharmacist or technician comes to assist you, hold up your finger and mouth "Just a minute." We don't have anything better to do than to stand there and listen-in as you carry on your majorly important phone conversation about when your hair stylist will be able to squeeze you in for for a quick coloring treatment.

There they are. Seriously, I've experienced every one of these scenarious at one time or another. I'm just thankful God has given me germ-repellant hands. ;)